Although the place where our son was is called a “foster home”, it is not a foster home the way we think of them here in the US. Mainly the term is used to distinguish it from the orphanages, which is where the children who do not have parents are. The kids at the foster home have all already been matched up with adoptive families. The differences pretty much end there. There were probably about seventy kids at the foster home, from infants to older children. We were told that there are about fifty nannies there that care for the kids, coming through in shifts. When the van pulled up into the courtyard, all the older children came rushing out. We were told that they do this every time, because they all know that their parents are coming for them, so they run out hoping that whoever gets out of the van will be there for them. It was so cute and heartbreaking all at once- I am so glad that all of the children there have adoptive parents coming in the next couple months; otherwise it would have been so much harder to see them all standing there, hoping to be leaving with a family that day. We got out of the van, and were led into the building where all the infants and toddlers are. There were a few nannies walking around, taking care of kids. We walked into a long room lined with cribs, each one with a child between 6-12 months. Juan Pablo was in one of the cribs closest to the door. The staff person who had come with us led us there, and said, “Here he is- Tamirat (Juan Pablo’s Ethiopian name).” We looked in, and there was our little boy, fast asleep with a bottle in his mouth. I can’t describe what it feels like to finally see the person who we have been praying and hoping for for so long. We had gotten a few pictures, but it was so overwhelming to actually see him, that he actually was real and that we were there with him. I think I started crying almost immediately. The staff person picked him up, and handed him to me, still bleary-eyed, trying to wake up and come to terms with the fact that there was no longer a bottle in his mouth. I kissed him and we both started talking to him, “Hola, Juan Pablo! Somos tus papas!”. He came to us so easily, immediately starting to cuddle and hold on to us, like he knew he belonged. I handed him to Jeff, and he started to smile, a little more awake now. We had wondered what he would look like when he smiled- he’s not smiling in any of the pictures we had gotten from our agency. And as we quickly saw, his smile is amazing. It lights up his entire face, making him look like the happiest baby in the world. The staff person offered to show us around the foster home, so we followed him around on a brief tour. Other than the room where Juan Pablo had been, there was a room full of the younger infants, and then a couple rooms full of bunk beds where the older children slept. In a second building across from this one, we were told there were more rooms for older children. When we walked out of the building with Juan Pablo, the older kids, still waiting in the courtyard started excitedly talking among themselves, and I kept hearing them say my son’s name, “Tamirat!” They must have been saying, “It was Tamirat’s parents! They’re here to get Tamirat!” A couple of them came up to give him a kiss goodbye. We were then taken to meet with the counselor, who was there to answer any questions we might have about our child. This was fairly uneventful- I tried to ask about eating and sleeping patterns, but was pretty much just told that he was on a type of formula called NAN-2. While we were with the counselor, Juan Pablo kept looking at us, and started trying to play with the door behind Jeff’s chair. About half an hour after arriving at the foster home, we were in the van and headed back to the guest house, this time, as a family. Due to privacy and confidentiality concerns, we had not been able to take any pictures or video at the foster home, but once we were in the van, the staff person with us took some pictures and video for us. We had a little football security blanket in the diaper bag for Juan Pablo, so we took it out and gave it to him. He immediately started playing with it, waving it around. We kept passing him back and forth between us, neither of us really wanting to let go of him, but also feeling like we shouldn’t be hogging him. After a little while, he fell asleep in my arms. I just kept staring at him while he slept, not really able to believe that I was actually holding him.
our first family picture
When we arrived back at the guest house, Juan Pablo woke up, and proceeded to spit up all over my sweatshirt and his little overalls. This gave me the perfect opportunity to do what I had been planning to do when we got back: get him out of those clothes, wash him off with a washcloth, and put on his “All American Boy” outfit that had been given to me by another adoptive mother, who had been praying that we would be able to meet our baby by the 4th of July.
our "all american boy"
We then pulled out a few toys, and spent some time just sitting on the bed, holding and playing with our son. He was hesitant at first with the toys, preferring the simpler ones, like a wooden ring rattle, to more colorful complicated ones, like the stacking cups. We discovered that he loves to make different sounds- he would click, blow raspberries, and whisper “ta ta ta ta ta ta.” We think it was probably something he did to keep himself entertained during all the time he spent in his crib at the orphanage. After a little while, he started to get tired again, and fell asleep on Jeff’s chest. He slept for a long time, and we passed him back and forth a couple times so that we’d each get a chance to cuddle with him. He woke up looking very disoriented and scared, and started crying silent tears. It was so sad to see that and think that he wasn’t making any noise because for so long, there hadn’t been a reason for him to. While the nannies do a wonderful job caring for the children in the orphanage, there are just too many to be able to respond to each one when he cries. Juan Pablo was comforted pretty quickly when we held him, and we spend the rest of the afternoon playing and getting to know our little son. He was congested and had a really bad cough, and the owners of our guest house very kindly offered to take us to get cough medicine for him. While Jeff went to find medicine, I stayed at the guest house with Juan Pablo. At one point, I needed to do something that required both hands, so I put him down in the crib for a minute. Our boy, who had shown no indication that he could do anything more than sit up, suddenly leaned forward, grabbed on to the ropes that made up the sides of the crib, and pulled himself up! I was so surprised, I started cheering and clapping for him, and he just looked so proud. When Jeff got back with the cold medicine, we showed him what Juan Pablo could do, and since then, Juan Pablo has been pulling himself up on anything and everything he possibly can. That night our wonderful hosts, who knew that we had just picked up the baby and that he was sick, offered to share some of their dinner with us, which was such a blessing because we hadn’t had any lunch, and since it was dark out by this time, we didn’t really feel up to going out to explore and find a restaurant.
That night, my brother Sebastian, who is a Peace Corps volunteer in Benin, across the continent from Ethiopia, was due to arrive on an Ethiopian Airlines flight from Ghana at 9pm. Juan Pablo fell asleep, and Jeff and I kind of dozed while we waited for Sebastian. As luck would have it, Juan Pablo woke up shortly after Sebastian arrived, full of energy and ready to play with his uncle. We talked and played until Juan Pablo got tired again, and then went to sleep when he fell asleep, not at all sure what to expect. Since we had picked him up that morning, he seemed to have a pattern of being awake for a few hours, then taking a nap for a few hours, and hadn’t really shown any signs of sleeping longer during the night than he did during the day. While things were like that for the first night, they soon changed to a more predictable pattern- he sleeps for about four hours, wakes up, has a bottle, goes back to sleep for three hours, wakes up, has another bottle and wants to play for anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours, then goes back to sleep for two to three more hours. Since we’ve gotten home, he doesn’t wake up wanting to play as often, but it does still happen once every few nights. Maybe someday we’ll know what it feels like to sleep more than a few hours at a time, but for now, I’m so happy to have him home that I usually don’t mind be woken up every few hours to see his beautiful little face next to mine. In fact, the first few nights I barely slept at all. Even while Juan Pablo was sleeping, I just couldn’t stop staring at him, memorizing his features, watching him breathe, just being amazed that he was finally with us.
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